Funny Stuff

Funny Stuff > Rednecks - You Can Consider Yourself a Redneck if...

You Can Consider Yourself a Redneck if...

• ...you take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.

• ...you can entertain yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter.

• ...your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

• ...you know what's a Hindu --- it lays eggs.

• ...you burn your yard rather than mow it.

• ...you think the Nutcracker is something you did off the high dive.

• ...you have the local taxidermist on speed dial.

• ...you come back from the dump with more than you took.

• ...the trunk of your car is tied down and you're not hauling anything.

• ...you keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

• ...your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

• ...your grandmother has "Ammo" on her Christmas list.

• ...you've ever been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys.

• ...you think a subdivision is part of a math problem.

• ...you've ever been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.

• ...you think a hot tub is a stolen bathroom fixture.

• ...you took a fishing pole to Sea World.

• ...you go to the stock car races and don't need a program.

• ...you know how many bales of hay your car will hold.

• ...your house doesn't have curtains but your truck does.

• ...you wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.

• ...you consider your license plate personalized because your uncle made it.

• ...you think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

• ...your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

• ...you sit on your roof at Christmas time hoping to fill your deer quota.

• ...your richest relative buys a new house and calls you up to help him take the wheels off.