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Why Men Don't Get Depressed

Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such  simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours.  Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another  snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear  a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water  park. Car mechanics tell you the truth.. The world is your urinal.  You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this  one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way  to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add  character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100 People never stare  at your chest when you're talking to them. The occasional  well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff  about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can  open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act  of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can  still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes  are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in  public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything  on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for  years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides  your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your  nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning  growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.

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